Don’t Play With Your Food

A while ago I mentioned that there was something called National Ice Cream for Breakfast Day.  I have no problem with that and other than for some attentive parents, health advocates and people with dietary restrictions, I’m sure not many other people would object. 

The only question really is what would be the best flavor.  There has been a surprising amount of research done on the topic and almost 50% of people would choose vanilla, chocolate or strawberry as their favorite.  After that choices really taper off through things like mint chocolate chip, rocky road, etc.

Apparently, however, ice cream companies have found that exotic flavors will also sell and there has been a bit of exploring to see what people will tolerate.

The envelope just got pushed by (spoiler alert) the Oscar Mayer company.  Yes, they have come up with “hot dog flavored ice cream.”

According to the article I read, it “is called the Oscar Mayer Cold Dog and it “isn’t quite as unappetizing as it sounds on first blush.” And it’s not a frozen hot dog.  It’s actually gelato with a hot dog flavor.  A company like Oscar Mayer, purveyors of foods like hot dogs and baloney are no strangers to putting chemicals in their food, so it’s possible to make gelato have the “familiar and delicious notes of Oscar Mayer’s hickory-smoked hot dogs, tomato, onion and more” without the benefit of those actual foods being present.

A plain hot dog would be boring, so the Cold Dog has a “mustard swirl” made of white chocolate with yellow food coloring.  Oscar Mayer warns, however, that those hoping for mustard flavor will be disappointed.  The swirl is solely there to “reinforce the image of a hot dog, while keeping the classic hot dog flavor front and center.”

How can anyone take this seriously enough to worry about the “classic hot dog flavor?”

The idea came about when the company posted the idea on Twitter (where else) and asked their followers if the idea was “stupid,” or “genius.”  The consensus was “genius,” and the Cold Dog was born.

In case I’ve whet your appetite and you are wondering where you can sample a Cold Dog, the answer is that it’s not likely.  They are only available for a limited time at a shop called Popbar, who are the people who actually make the Cold Dogs and Popbars are only in a few American cities.  If you live in New York City, you may be able to snag a Cold Dog from the Oscar Mayer “Weinermobile,” which is being reflagged with a paint job to look like it just came out of the freezer.  

What’s a Weinermobile you ask?  I would provide a photo but would probably get in some sort of intellectual [sic] property trouble.  If you really need to know, you can Google it and then think about how terrifying it must look when reversing.  In fact, please do Google it here:  https://www.oscarmayer.com/wienermobile  And scroll to the bottom to learn how to be a “Hotdogger,” one of the Weinermobile crew.  It doesn’t say how much they pay.

By the way, this isn’t the first time Oscar Mayer has made a foray outside of processed food products.  Earlier this year, they came out with the “Bologna Sheet Mask” which is a face mask that looks like a slice of bologna with holes for your eyes that look like they were bitten out (why not?). 

The masks were sold on Amazon ($4.99) and sold out within hours (and don’t bother to check, they are out of stock indefinitely).  The packaging actually looks like a pack of bologna and says “Oscar Mayer Face Mask/Beauty Inspired by Bologna.”

And of course “Do Not Eat Bologna Masks” in big letters.

Why is this happening?